God, yesterday I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust!
Today is a new day.
Today I am grateful for what I have in my life.
My son, my partner, my home, my family.
Sometimes when you let all the little shit get on top of you, you don’t see the bigger picture.
Lately I’ve been concentrating on the negatives and it’s 100% made me feel shit. I didn’t realise I was doing it until this morning.
Henry woke at 4am shouting and babbling (his new word is CAR!!! Thanks for that Nanny and Grandad.). He persisted for almost an hour until we caved and fed him. He then slept until 7.30 which wasn’t too bad. Naturally I felt shattered. The other half was snoozing his alarm again and again and I kept trying to wake him. He was being a grumpy bastard. But I lay there thinking, he’s my grumpy bastard! He’s getting up to go to work to support our little family, he’s also had fuck all sleep and he must be shattered too. I’m not saying I have never realised this, but this morning I woke up and a foggy cloud had been lifted from my vision. The last week or so I had been hazing things out because I was so tired and miserable.
I rolled out of bed and did my usual routine, coffee on, make breakfast for my two men and make Daddys lunch for him to take to work. The list goes on, load the laundry, wash up and have a general tidy. Boring tasks which I usually resent doing and do it all with a face like a slapped bum bum. But today I enjoyed it. I was doing my part to support the family. I was keeping the house running.
I have felt a bit useless lately. I am not out earning money and contributing to our household income. But fuck! I am doing way more than I thought I was.
I think the terms ‘stay at home mum’ and ‘house wife’ completely belittles the work women do. We are the foundations of a ‘home’.
I am proud of what I do. I love my life.
I have never been someone to plan ahead, try to set goals for my future and imagine what my life would be like in 5, 10 or 20 years from now. I have never seen the point. I think it distracts from the here and now. Even if I was that type of person I could never have predicted I would end up here, with my own family. Caring for them and loving them beyond words.
Life is mysterious. You just have to roll with the punches, enjoy the ups AND the downs.
I have been down. Now I’m climbing back up and I insist on reminding myself of what I have everyday and what I have to be grateful for.
It would be stupid to think there will never be another down. But for Now, I’m going to enjoy what I have around me and live like there is no tomorrow.
Have a lovely day people!
Time to play!
Oh! And happy V day!