Where’s my baby?

Don’t panic I haven’t literraly lost my baby. I didn’t leave him in Sainsbury’s perusing the milk aisle. 

I’ve been sat here looking at pictures of just a few months back and the changes in Henry are just so drastic! He was a little dot.

After last night’s sleep trauma I am left broken and physically able to move from the sofa. So I’m here browsing old photos and getting all emotional. At least when he was small he wasn’t so loud! Now hes like a little fog horn. If there was such thing as Google baby translate (totally claiming copywrite on that one) then I would love to know what he is saying. ‘Fuccckkk youuu mum where is my toy car, and my toast you lazy bitch get of the fucking sofa!’.

It’s kind of strange when you look back at pictures of your baby. Its almost like that little baby still exists somewhere. Like this almost toddler swooped into the cot at night time to kidnap and replace your sweet sleeping angel. They lie there all smug when you walk in in the morning and they’re lying there, butter wouldn’t melt, halo hovering above their head like ‘oh hi Mama look how much I’ve grownnnnn. Aren’t I your cute little big baby! Now get me my breakfast bitch’ and you’re left wondering why your baby woke up all grown up with so much sass. 

In reality though this obviously didn’t happen. Time is just going to quickly and you are too fucking tired to keep up with the constant changes your baby is making. 

That’s where photos come in. I take a lot of photos. I want to capture every moment and keep it forever so I can look back at times like this and realise he’s not a little demon. He is just growing faster than I can keep up with! 

I always go on about how I wish I could stop time and keep Henry small. But really it’s quite amazing to see how quickly he is developing his own little personality and sense of humour. I do not however find it humorous at 3am. Just no. 

So my tiny baby has gone. He’s lost forever. The new Henry put him somewhere and I can’t find him. But I love the new model just as much as the last. I’m just not adapting very well to his temper tantrums and little bigger attitude. He gets that from his mother for sure. So this is probably karma.

Now until it happens again and my almost toddler has disappeared and has been replaced by and ACTUAL toddler, I am going to enjoy every last bit of him! 

Wish me luck! 3 hours sleep and a busy day ahead! 

I’m totally winning at life. 

#motherhood

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