This time last year

This time last year I was on the Labour ward at Southampton Princess Anne. I had spent the night wishing and praying that I could meet my baby soon. Rolling around like a mad woman not being able to get comfortable. I remember having a bath and feeling like shamu flailing around in pain.

I was 36 weeks and 1 day. My waters broke the night before. It was definitely a surprise but I guess Henry had decided that he’d had enough of my moany voice and was ready to meet us. My contractions were far apart but fuck me, my back! I remember the pain, no words can describe it. I was in labour for almost 2 days before they realised he was back to back and breach. I literally felt like he was going to claw his way out of my butthole.

After an awful labour and an insane amount deep breathing they finally gave me some pain relief. An epidural! What I was totally against but welcomed with open arms. My body was tired. They were telling me not to push, but all I wanted to do was fucking push push push! Anyway long story short, They scanned me, he was all wonky donky and upside down and shit, they panicked, shot me loads of drugs, I was numb, they whisked me away into surgery and bish bash bosh Henry was out. I lost a fuck ton of blood, Henry was rushed of to the Neonatal unit and I was lying there feeling like I was about to spew all over the doctors. Ryan was watching the whole thing horrified. He saw my insides. Now that’s another level of love right there.

I didnt get to meet him until the afternoon. It felt like a century had gone by. He was very poorly for a few days and I had to watch him through a tiny plastic box. My baby. My precious little man. He was here! I remember the tiny hairs all over his shoulders, I could stroke them through the little arm holes in his incubator.

Now I lay here this morning looking at my almost 1 year old. 1 tomorrow! I just can’t believe it. I’m welling up. He has grown from that tiny fragile baby into my brave, funny, gorgeous and adventurous son! I have to pinch myself sometimes!

I’m going to squish and kiss him all day.

He’s growing too quickly!

I know I was having a blog break but I just had to share how I felt today. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.




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