Oh golly

I’ve always had a potty mouth. The words just fall out of my mouth before I can stop them. Sometimes I even shock myself.

Since having Henry I have been trying so god damn hard not to swear! I go about my day tripping over bastard toys and getting covered in baby gunk, refraining from cursing and having a little fuck wobble. 

I previously posted about not wanting Henry to grow up with a bad tongue, so I have come up with some swear word replacements. 

Fuck/Fucking – Flop/Flopping – “Oh flop!” 

Shit – Shizzle – “Shizzle, I forgot the nappies!”

Prick – Brick – “You little brick!”

Bastard – Custard – “Where are the Custard baby wipes?”

I am sure there are many more colourful words that I could change up but I will stick with these four for now. I will just confuse myself and get into a flopping pickle.

“Oh flopping hell! I’ve lost my Custard keys and I’m in the shizzle! I am such a brick.”


No time to get on with my day and ignore the pissing rain.



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