The memoirs of a hormonal phsyco

Contraception is such a controversial subject isn’t it?

Myself, I have tried a fair few methods.

The pill. In fact 4 kinds of pill. One of which I fell pregnant on!

The implant. This worked for about 6 years but I feel was a catalyst for some questionable behaviour.

The injection. Well, that just turned me into a big crazy loon who needed to go to crazyville on the crazy bus. Like literally. I was convinced the world was going to end and would lose my shit at the slightest inconvenience.

I think if you have even the slightest hormone imbalance, naturally, when not on contraception, then as soon as you whack something into the mix then you are more than likely going to experience some kind of mental fucking breakdown and turn into a hormonal phsyco. (Yep, that’s me!)

I recently had the implant inserted again because natural family planning was becoming a bit to risque for my liking! I felt the implant was the best of a bad bunch for me. Having had it before, I feel like I can get a handle on the way it makes me act and gain some kind of control over my moods (sometimes). Before you ask, I did consider the coil. But for me that wasn’t an option. Personally, the thought of it makes me shudder all over. I have heard good and bad things about it, as with any other contraception, it stems down to ‘what is right for you’.

So I am a month into my Nexplanon shit storm and I am more up and down than a fucking pogo stick. In the last week I have cried and laughed in the same breath about 162 times. Had about 3 mini breakdowns and then the next moment have never been so happy. Henry has no idea what is going on and my OH is just flabbergasted at the pure sight of me having a total shit fit because I can’t open a pack of bacon (that’s a minor paddy, you don’t even want to know what happened when I couldn’t control my curly barnet the other morning). But I knew what I was in for, that’s the sad thing about it. I was prepared for the mental torment that it was going to bring me. I knew it was going to make me want to eat a house and then a small car for dessert. I knew it was going to make me feel like I was stuck in the first trimester of pregnancy in loop for a thousand years. But I still did it. Why?

Why is it we put ourselves through this torture? All in the name of sex? I wish there was a switch on men’s penises that you could switch on and off. “Tonight darling, I am going to flick your switch. It’s time to make a baby!” (A girl can dream). Just imagine though. Imagine not having to pump our bodies full of hormones and being able to run naked through a field of poppies and unicorns.

When it comes down to it. We do it to have control. Control over our own lives. Having a baby is a big decision and some people aren’t lucky enough to have the option of contraception to control their future. But at the same time that we are gaining control of our futures, we are losing control of our minds and bodies. How is that fair?

When will something change? When will men have to take a pill or get stabbed with a needle?

Never. Because that’s not how life works. Or so ‘they’ say. Well I say fuck ‘them’. I am off to invent a male implant that has to be painfully inserted into their ballsacks and will cause them to cry at YouTube videos and eat whole birthday cakes for breakfast.

The End.


2 thoughts on “The memoirs of a hormonal phsyco

Add yours

  1. OMG I really feel for you. Mental health and hormonal imbalances can devastate life yet the medical profession seemingly has no interest or motivation to research it. There are days when I’m not safe to drive. Can’t be trusted alone in a kitchen. Shouldn’t attend a meeting… Yet for us women in our society its just a normal abnormality

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment! It’s crazy isn’t it, we just get on with it and accept that our crazy hormones are just a part of our lives!


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